I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
im six kinds of drunk right now
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize