I am in a vortex of obligation.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
