she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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