I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
