Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
