i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
