does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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