i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
