yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
