I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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