i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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