I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize