i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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