sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
