so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
