She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
