I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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