There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
