$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Randomize
