So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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