Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
