I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
