is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
