porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize