I need to stop coming to work sober
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
