And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
