I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize