Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think a kid would responsible me up
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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