we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
