My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
