does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
