Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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