just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
