I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
