yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
