Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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