White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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