Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
