I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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