ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
