Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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