I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
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