marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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