In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
