My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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