just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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