You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
