how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
they're like a gay fantastic four
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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