I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
