i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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