he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
well you can't waste a boner
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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