Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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