Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
