You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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