i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
