Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize