He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
