Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
