Only a mothe r could love this liver
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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