where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It was confusing and full of hummus
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
