Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
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