But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
soo... how was my night?
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